Quote of the Day — Seth Godin

“The organizations that actually change things are the ones that have a time horizon that’s longer than 36 hours.”

Quote of the Day — Otto von Bismark

“What we learn from history is that no one learns from history.”

Quote of the Day — Groucho Marx

“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.”

Quote of the Day — Anatole France

“Man is a rational animal. He can think up a reason for anything he wants to believe.”

Quote of the Day — Antonin Scalia

“Brains can be hired by the hour, just like muscle. Only character is not for sale at any price.”

Thought for the Day

“If you meet an asshole in the morning, you met an asshole. If you meet assholes all day, maybe you’re the asshole”.

Joke of the Day

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.”

She rolled her eyes and said, “You must be a Republican.”

“I am,” replied the man. “How did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help to me.”

The man smiled and responded, “You must be a Democrat.”

“I am,” replied the balloonist. “But how did you know?”

“Well,” said the man, “You don’t know where you are or where you’re going. You’ve risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You’ve made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and now you expect ME to solve your problem. You’re in EXACTLY the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now, it’s MY fault.

Quote of the Day — Mark Twain

“If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re misinformed.”

Quote of the Day — William F. Buckley

“I’m not going to insult your intelligence by suggesting that you believe what you just said.”

Thought of the Day

The first rule of pessimism: it can always get worse.

Quote of the day — Charles H. Spurgeon

“Of two evils, choose neither.”

What is a “post turtle”?

A “post turtle” is a turtle resting atop a fence post. The turtle didn’t get up there by himself, he doesn’t belong there, he can’t get anything done while he’s up there and you just want to help the poor, dumb thing down.

Kind of describes our current president, doesn’t it?

Quote of the Day — Mike Rowe

“Just because you love something doesn’t mean you can’t suck at it.”

Source: The Four Hour Workweek

Quote of the Day — Thomas Sowell

“One of the problems with being a pessimist is that you can never celebrate when you are proven right.”

From: Townhall

Quote of the Day

“True optimist: A blind man who enters a dark room looking for a black cat that he knows isn’t there.”

More performance evaluations

  1. “Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.”
  2. “His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.”
  3. “I would not allow this employee to breed.”
  4. “This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won’t-be.”
  5. “Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.”
  6. “When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.”
  7. “He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.”
  8. “This young lady has delusions of adequacy.”
  9. “He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.”
  10. “This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.”
  11. “This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.”
  12. “Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.”
  13. “A gross ignoramus – 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.”
  14. “He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless.”
  15. “He doesn’t have ulcers, but he’s a carrier.”
  16. “I would like to go hunting with him sometime.”
  17. “He’s been working with glue too much.”
  18. “He would argue with a signpost.”
  19. “He has a knack for making strangers immediately.”
  20. “He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.”
  21. “When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.”
  22. “If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he’s the other one.”
  23. “He has a photographic memory with the lens cap glued on.”
  24. “A prime candidate for natural deselection.”
  25. “Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.”
  26. “Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.”
  27. “Has two brains cells: one is lost and the other is out looking for it”
  28. “If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.”
  29. “If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change.”
  30. “If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the oceans.”
  31. “It’s hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.”
  32. “One neuron short of a synapse.”
  33. “Some drank from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.”
  34. “Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.”
  35. “The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.”

Quote of the Day — Dr. Ben Carson

“I believe I came from God, and you believe you came from a monkey, and you’ve convinced me you’re right.”

Quote of the Day — Abraham Lincoln

“We must not promise what we ought not, lest we be called on to perform what we cannot.”

Quote of the Day — Seth Godin

“The long run is always shorter than we imagine.”

From: Seth’s Blog

Quote of the Day — Ray Bradbury

“Insanity is relative. It depends on who has who locked in what cage.”

From: Crossderry Blog